How did I get here??

I warn you, the answer to that question is a long one. I tried to keep this more like a Blog and less like a book...but there is just so much good stuff to share! This is the condensed version (believe it or not)I hope you make it to the end.
Back in December I had an opportunity to go to Germany for the first ever Worldwide Young Adults Messianic Conference. Hundreds of Jewish believers from all over the world gathered together to celebrate their heritage as a Jewish people and their freedom in the Messiah. During this trip I became increasingly confused due to varying beliefs about whether or not Jewish believers belong in Messianic congregations or Churches. There were several teachings throughout the conference on Jewish Identity and Jewish community. It seemed to be the popular belief among the Messianic community that Jewish believers lose their testimony to the Jewish community when they become assimilated into mainstream churches. One night I went back to my room and I started praying about all the conflicting thoughts and emotions I was experiencing. I was journaling when God began to speak to me. The last thing I wrote before he began speaking was this, “I trust God will reveal to me exactly what I am supposed to do and where I am supposed to go.” Then God spoke, and I quickly scribbled down what he said. “September 14th…You’re whole life is about to change…It’s okay, you’re safe with me…Trust me…I have a lot to reveal to you if you only take the time to listen...Max”
Now, sometimes people who aren’t used to hearing the voice of God will ask, “What do you mean God spoke to you?” God can speak to you in a variety of ways. This time it was almost like hearing an audible voice, only it was in my head. I know, sounds a little like schizophrenia, but when you hear the rest of the story you will see that I am not in fact mentally ill, but have an intimate relationship with a God that loves me enough to talk to me! (He loves you enough to talk to you also if you take the time to listen)
I understood most of what God said to me that day, but I really didn’t know what the significance of September 14th was and the Max thing really didn’t make sense. God revealed to me that September 14th was a start date to a school I was supposed to attend, and I heard “and you’ll have a dog named Max.”
Months went by, the conference ended and life went back to normal. I started praying daily, “God, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life. I’ll go wherever you want, just tell me what to do.” Then one day at work I heard the name “Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry” in my head. I immediately went to a computer and googled it. I was reading the description and again heard “September 14th”. I thought to myself, “Okay God, if this school starts on September 14th, I’m going.” When I looked at the calendar for the school my heart sank and I began to cry. School for incoming first year students began on September 14th. I knew right then I was going to be moving to California.
There is so much that happened between the time God told me I was going to California and me actually arriving that attests to His faithfulness, His provision and His very nature. But for months I felt like my world was falling apart and I was a complete wreck. I felt incapable of doing what God was asking of me. This is the biggest sacrifice he ever asked me to make; leaving my friends, my job, my comfort, my security, and mostly…my family. I felt ill equipped to make such a huge move. Where would I live? How would I pay for tuition? How would I pay my rent? Where would I work? Fear started to creep in. I felt completely overwhelmed and didn’t even know where to begin. I just began praying, “God, I thank you that you already know where I will live and how I will pay for everything. I thank you that you have prepared a place for me in advance and I trust that you will get me there. I surrender this whole thing to you.” Despite the fear, deep down I did trust God would take care of me. I made living arrangements with these two girls that seemed amazing. The rent was cheap, the girls were awesome, it seemed perfect. Only immediately after I said, “Yes, I’m in! Let’s make it final!” I felt really unsettled. I prayed that night and very clearly I heard, “Heather, this isn’t what I have for you.” I literally looked up to God and said, “Are you serious!?” I told my friend Jeri what happened the next day. She prayed that God would give me clarity and if it wasn’t his will for me to live there, that he would shut the door and I wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. The next morning the girl I was supposed to live with called and left me a voicemail that it wasn’t going to work out. I would have been devastated, but God had prepared me. The only good thing about God saying “This isn’t what I have for you” is, there must be something he DOES have for you! With only weeks before the start of school I went on the churches website where people can list if they are looking for housing. The very first post on the board was a young family from the church looking for someone to rent out a room in their home. They sounded awesome, so I immediately responded. I had a really good feeling about it. Long story short, after Skyping with several other people who also responded, they offered me the room in their home and I accepted. This time I felt so much peace about it. There are so many amazing God stories tied into this whole sequence of events that I would love to share but it would be the longest post ever (if it isn’t already!). But what motivated me to create this post was this…
Tonight when I came home the amazing people I live with told me they decided on a name for the puppy they will be getting in a few weeks. They are going to name him MAX! =) I had totally forgotten what God had said until that moment when all the sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks…wow, this is exactly where I am supposed to be. He had a plan for my life 9 months ago that didn’t change because I was inadequate to live up to what I thought he wanted of me. He did it. He got me here. I was fearful, I had doubts, I was lacking and weak in every way, but God came through…just like he always does. I know I am called to change the world, but that is an overwhelming task. But now I see that it isn’t by my strength that the plan for my life will be fulfilled. It is through my willingness to listen to what He has to say and follow wherever He leads. If you finished reading this post, thank you for sticking through to the end! God has an amazing plan for your life and he has so much to tell you is you only take the time and listen. The world is waiting!

Psalm 40:5 Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.

Overwhelmed in the Best Way Possible...

If you know me at all, it is not uncommon for me to answer "How are you?" with "Overwhelmed!" I suppose that could be taken a number of different ways. Overwhelmed with things to do, overwhelmed with emotions, ideas, problems,  insights, revelations, plans, fears...the list goes on and on! To be overwhelmed means to "bury or drown beneath a huge mass." Throughout my life there have been people who have tried to dig me out from beneath that huge mass. Ultimately, God rescued me from a world that completely overwhelmed me. Today I am overwhelmed in a totally different way than I was in the past. Instead of being overwhelmed with the pain, the confusion, the duties and the weight of a world full suffering that I felt ill equipped to make a difference in, I am  overwhelmed by the love of God. I am overwhelmed by His goodness, His faithfulness and His ability to communicate with me in such an intimate way. I tend to experience things intensely, therefore I become overwhelmed by my experiences. But my experiences today are a far cry from my experiences five years ago. My hope is that this Blog would be an outlet to those things that overwhelm me in the best way possible.